Idolatry - Spinout - The Music of Elvis Presley

I have avowed fandom for many of the artists who have given their songbooks to the Idols to mangle or not over the course of the year. Stevie Wonder and Queen come to mind. But, deep down, I like Elvis better. After all, Elvis is about more than just what is on the records, all billion of them. It is about more than pop stardom. It is even about more than iconography. Because Elvis is bigger than all that. Bigger than Madonna. Bigger than the Beatles. Bigger than anyone in pop music, ever, period. So big that he's on par with Jesus and Hitler. The kind of person that academics study and teach classes about, to give us some insight into the past. The kind of person that "person" doesn't even really apply to.

Now, before you stop reading, I want you to know that I have never been at a lonely gas station somewhere in the wilds of Missouri (or anywhere else for that matter) and seen a now septuagenarian Elvis walking around in a pink Caddy. I do not own any Elvis memorabilia (I do own more than a few albums and the Elvis family cookbook. I once owned an Elvis clock with a swinging hips pendulum, but that's as gone as Elvis). I own exactly one book about Elvis, an excellent biography of his fall. And I have 3.6 hours of Elvis on my iTunes, which I am listening to as I write this. I want to be clear that I am not a wacky Elvis fan who leaves wreaths at Graceland or lobbies the government to make his birthday a national holiday (although I am in favor of more national holidays on general principle). I even voted for the Fat Old Druggy Elvis stamp over the young, cute one when that was a going concern. On the other hand, I intended to write a movie script about Elvis where he had faked his death and wandered the earth and I did write a script about the world's worst Elvis impersonator. So, maybe I'm a little nuts about Elvis, but on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being completely unaware of his existence and 10 being marrying Lisa Marie Presley to finish your memorabilia collection (I'm looking at you, Nick Cage), I'm between a 4 and a 6. I appreciate the Artist and the Icon and enjoy him as maybe the first true citizen of the Age of the Thing. The Plato of the Age of the Thing. Yeah, that feels right.

So, as usual, great trepidation going into the night as these young, amateurs take on the greatest songbook in rock history (I'll take the Ella Fitzgerald songbook over Elvis's, but she sang everything there was to sing). Less trepidation than usual, since all the real sucks are gone now and even McPhee, my most hated remaining singer, has seemed to brighten up a little. So, I was eager to hear it. So eager, I started picking what I wanted them to sing. Oddly, Chris won the songs Max thought he should sing award. I picked two songs and he sang them both. Taylor came in second, as I picked "In the Ghetto" and the period/style of "Jailhouse Rock" (early yelling rocker). Kat and Elliot screwed the pooch totally, and I guess I will cover that when I get to it. As with last week, I will cover each singer in the order that they performed, and cover both performances in the comments.

Taylor opened with Jailhouse Rock. This is an all-time great song and perfectly suited to Taylor’s obvious talents, jumping around, being kind of whiskey voiced, and having fun. I enjoyed this performance immensely and think Simon just doesn't get Taylor. It's not the hardest song to sing, but with Taylor, even though he can really sell a song, it's not just about the singing. It's about the reality of it. When he's singing Jailhouse, I don't necessarily believe that he belongs in prison, but I don't think it's inconceivable that he hasn't spent a night or two in the pokey with his band and they maybe rocked out. Yeah, it's an absurd song and it doesn't happen ever, but with Taylor singing it, I think maybe prison is more fun that it looks on Oz.

Later in the show, he sang "In the Ghetto," one of the later Elvis hits. One of my favorite Elvis songs, because no other white person could ever perform this song. There are all kinds of interesting stories about the song, about how it almost wasn’t made because the writer didn't want Elvis to sing it. There were some contractual issues too; surrounding Elvis, Inc.'s general business practices, (Elvis has a writing credit on almost every song he sang without ever having written a song. His people strong-armed songwriters into giving that up, which they could do because Elvis singing a song guaranteed a hit in the 50's and early 60's. Mac Davis, in 1969, was unconvinced and didn't give it up. It would prove to reward both as Elvis released his most political album, soulfully connecting with the circle of poverty of urban Chi-town as only a poor boy made millionaire speed freak from rural Mississippi could. Taylor another poor boy from the south made good (for the moment) brings that credibility to the song that few people (then or now) could. When he sang it, you felt he understands the social problem in both a first hand and third hand kind of way. The song DEMANDS that, as it's about sad things up close (a cycle of poverty and violence) and from a far (from the B-verse "People, don’t you understand/The child needs a helping hand/Or he’ll grow to be an angry young man some day/Take a look at you and me,/Are we too blind to see,/Do we simply turn our heads/And look the other way"). And Taylor, more than anyone else on the show, can do that. While McPhee and Yamin smile like sheep on happy pills and Chris growls and scowls, Taylor has actual stagecraft. He can do happy and he can do sad. While I don't think he's the best possible pop idol on the show, I do think he has the most craft to go with his voice. And for Elvis night, he won the total. As he should, because it was most up his alley.

Chris started with the song I thought he should sing second, "Suspicious Minds." Initially, I didn't really like this song (talking about Elvis's versions) but eventually I heard a live version, and that made everything click. It was a big favorite in his live shows and with Elvis, the live stuff was as important, if not more so, than the studio stuff. Consummate performer who made it a point to entertain live and not be like those lazy Rat Pack guys (Elvis's thoughts on that). Chris version was very good. Really showed off that second dimension of Chris (to date, there are only two: Rocking Chris and Slow Ballad Chris) that people like.

For his second song, he did new favorite, "A Little Less Conversation," that minor Elvis his that was repopularized by Junkie XL (yeah, that's JXL's real trade name, though it was thought impolitic to have someone named Junkie anything record on an Elvis album, all things considered) for Nike for the World Cup 2002. It was the first authorized remix of Elvis stuff and played incessantly during the Cup, and also appeared in Ocean's 11 (the new version) before being the 31st track on Elvis: 30 #1's. I have to say I was a little disappointed with Chris's version. I expected it to start with his raised growl/scream then go low for the middle and then burst back big for the close. He started low, stayed low and then burst out. Consequently, I felt he made some bad decisions and saved it at the end. Not my dream of how it should have gone, but more than adequate.

Elliott screwed the pooch before he started. Elvis has such a great catalog that he had 50 gold records. He had 30 #1 singles on some chart or another, and those didn't even cover some of his best early work at Sun Records. And from that great morass of music, Elliott picks "If I Can Dream," a song that sounds like the immortal American Idol song writers (the people who write the great songs like "A Moment Like This" ) had an off day (as opposed to all the crappy on days they have) and crapped out an Elvis tune. That said, I think Yamin sang it well. But we're beyond the point in the conversation where you can sing a song that most of America doesn't know and stay around. And he did that sheepish smile into the camera. When I say sheepish, I don't mean shy or small, I mean vacant, like a lobotomy patient. My wife will probably beat me for writing all this negative stuff about Elliott, as he's her fave, but I really think he's making major tactical errors. All that said, he sang it pretty well. So well, the judges fawned over something that was only pretty good. Maybe I don't get it, but I want to feel the whole song, not just the vocal. After all, singing is just storytelling with harmony, right. I want to feel the story. And that's why Taylor won the night and I think Elliott should go home. He's technically amazing. Great instrument, as the people in the industry say, but just not selling it enough to stick. One last thing here. People will talk about the great runs and stuff that he and Kat do. I think you can run too much and I think he did that here. He has the ability, just like the US has the WMD's. The key is not just to have the inventory but also to use it judiciously. Even in the Age of the Thing.

His second song was Trouble. An Elvis staple that I just didn't buy coming out of Yamin. Let's look at the lyrics:

If you're looking for trouble
You came to the right place
If you're looking for trouble
Just look right in my face
I was born standing up
And talking back
My daddy was a green-eyed mountain jack
Because I'm evil, my middle name is misery
Well I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me

I've never looked for trouble
But I've never ran
I don't take no orders
From no kind of man
I'm only made out
Of flesh, blood and bone
But if you're gonna start a rumble
Don't you try it on alone
Because I'm evil, my middle name is misery
Well I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me
I'm evil, evil, evil, as can be

Evil, yeah, that's Elliott. His middle name is Misery. Elliott Misery Yamin. I will admit that it probably wasn't that believable when Elvis sang it either, but Elvis could sell a song, big time. And he could do that kung-fu dance junk when he's singing about rumbling, and he was maybe the all-time drug addict in the way only rich people can afford to indulge in drugs. Yamin sings that he's evil with that dopey grin on his face and I just want to walk. And then he dumps runs and trills and the whole kitchen sink of singing on it and I'm not having a good time. Same old deal. Technically perfect, a little reality challenged. And I've even come to like the look. The hair is a billion times better than when we started and the facial hair doesn't irk me the way it used to. And he doesn't have that lack of confidence he used to, but he just can't sell me this kind of song. Or the first song either. Out of such a big catalog, he should have picked something more about love or fun. Because he's an American Idol, not evil and his middle name is Bartholomew, not Misery. I think he's going home. It's not so much about the performances anymore. It's more about fan base. And I feel like he's the odd person out. I could be wrong. It could be McPhee. But at this point, I dunno that it's material, since it's gonna come down to Chris over Taylor in the big finale.

McPhee dressed less than stupid for both of her numbers. With that out of the way, we can get onto the material matters, like was she boring or not. On the first song, she wasn't boring. And she wasn't on her knees, which means she wasn't good. She was okay. And she sang "I'm itchin' like a girl on a fuzzy tree" which just cracked me up. But she dropped a line of lyric. At this stage of the competition, you just can't do that, right? Especially on slow-paced songs like these. Yeah, they're up-tempo, but there's nothing hard here like in A Little Less Conversation. And she lost her voice at one point before she dropped the lyric. It was messy and uncool, even with the fuzzy tree line. And, what's the thinking in this song choice. She sings ballads and there are tons in the Elvis catalog. She sang one interesting song in the entire competition, that song last week on her knees and now she's busting out all over the place with Elvis rock songs. She should be doing Heartbreak Hotel and The Wonder of You. Tactical errors will kill you at this point in the game.

Her second song was Can't Help Falling in Love with You, which is more in line with my Kat expectations, slow and possibly boring. If I thought that Elliot put too much sizzle on his second song, I probably spoke too soon. This one, a generally beautiful song that Elvis does pretty restrained on this song. No runs, no junk. Just sing the notes in the order the writer wrote them in and convey the emotion. And the dopey smile hangs on it all. I want a meaningful look of love over the mike here. I want to feel that she can't help falling in love. I want to feel that she wants to share my whole life too. And I don't get that from the dopey smile. Sorry Kat fans, that's the way it is.

A last question about Kat. The judges fell all over themselves to mention that she's at a disadvantage on Elvis Night. I think they are saying so because she's a she, but I don't buy that. Elvis has a ton of love songs, a ton of ballads, big and small, a ton of stuff that is right up Kat's alley. If they are saying she's at a disadvantage because she's a girl, I don't buy it. If they are saying it because she's the youngest would be Idol and the least fully formed as a performer, then yeah, but I think that's a disadvantage that's fair. And just. In order of fullest formation to least full, the Idols rank like this:

1. Taylor
2. Chris
3. Yamin
4. McPhee

This is not to say that Taylor is the best singer. I'm just saying that he's the most fully developed. He has the worst voice of those four, but he knows the limits of it and knows his role better than anyone else. Chris is close, but he could use some vocal training so he doesn't break his instrument. Yamin has the best voice and some conception of who he is. McPhee needs more lessons (she's great, but she can't sing a big note square to save her life) and she needs to figure out who she is. We are the furthest away from a McPhee post-Idol platinum album.

So, your bottom two are Kat and Yamin. I think Yamin goes home, but I don't think it really matters, since whoever stays goes home next week. Even Cowell agrees. That's about it. Catch you later.