TV - American Idle - Rating the Contestants

I'm sorry I haven't been writing more. On the upside, my counter says you haven't been looking, so I guess it evens out. Been very busy doing work for me and a client. More on the client work in another post. I have also been watching an extraordinary amount of American Idol. Five hours a week is a bit much, I think. It seems as though Fox is gonna try to milk Idol for as many programming hours as it can possibly get. I have one question for Fox on this strategy. "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" As in, how many nights can you put a popular show on during primetime and not exhaust your viewership's interest. I think it's an especially relevant question when two of the three broadcasts of Idol this week were the entire two hours of Fox's primetime. With Millionaire, at least ABC was trying to carry viewers to their other dopey shows (that was in the Jamie Tarses era of ABC, which produced exactly one show of critical worth, Sports Night, and exactly one dramatic show that people actually wanted to watch, Dharma and Greg {I still don't understand why}).. But at least someone at ABC could say the following:

We have the most popular show in the land and we're not sure how long that's gonna last. We are counting on Regis, after all. So, let's use it to try and drive viewership of 4 nights worth of programming, and maybe boost 8 hours of non-Millionaire prime time just by carrying the audience over.

On Fox, for two of the three nights of Idol, they are pumping the local news, which I have only watched once, and that only because some people defaced (disappointingly uncreatively) some Focus on the Family billboards that were richly deserving.

Any rate, lemme get out of my MBA hat, and put on my media critic at large hat and get down to the good, the bad, and the ugly. The contestants of the American Idle.

The Gone
Becky O'Donohue

This was a classic Simon Eye Candy contestant. A classic Anti-Val (from a Chorus Line... the Dance 10, Looks 3 girl). This girl could sing a little, but one of the 24 best from 50,000 plus? You gotta be kidding.

Bobby Bennett


Great personality, great stage presence. But he sings like Cookie Monster. I would pay a dollar to hear him do "C is for Cookie". Maybe only $.49. But nothing else. I want to make a little side note here. I think the judges are each fallible in their own way. Simon likes the cute girls (to a point). Randy likes the energy people (again to a point). And Paula likes everyone. Aside from Seacrest, is there a more useless person on the show than Paula? She's like a walking Dale Carnegie course. More on Seacrest later.

Stevie Scott

I have a bit of free advice for Ms. Scott. If you want to sing opera, go sing opera. Maybe PBS will latch onto this thing and run "America's Next Opera Diva." That's the show she should be on. Because, at no point in any of her appearances, did I feel she really wanted to renounce opera and just sing pop. And the show was called Pop Idol in it's original incarnation. Good riddance.

Patrick Hall

This one actually caught me by surprise. I had him in 7th after his performance. I n the interest of full disclosure, I had Becky and Bobby as the worst, with Brenna and David as the next worst from each sex. Stevie was the only other girl I thought really needed to leave soon, but I was willing to give her one more show to fly right. But this one was a surprise. Maybe it was the bad luck of going first. I missed almost all of his intro video, when he maybe explained why he picked "Come to my Window" which was a very weird song for him to sing. Maybe it was just a weird song. Maybe it was the goatee. I liked him better with a more Ric Ocasek look. I think we can write this off to that eternally unlearned lesson of Idol. Pick good songs that will sound good when you sing them. I think this was a weird song for a dude to sing, and I think that made it hard for people to really listen to what was going on there.

The Should Be Gone
Brenna Gethers

I think she is the female version of Bobby Bennett. All personality, not a lot of singing talent. She looks like an idol should, too. But really, there should be some kind of Fatwa on people who mangle Stevie Wonder. I'm a big fan of the Wonder school of singing (Stevie, Jamiroquai, Thicke, and to a lesser extent Justin Guarini). You don't come to the catalog like that. It just ain't right. We had the DJ play that song at my wedding. The last thing anyone in this country wants is her ruining it. If she sings Marvin Gaye next week, she shouldn't live to eliminations.

David Radford

He's a crooner. This is not a sin. It is currently an excuse for singing in only one pitch, and slowly at that. They say he's got a Michael Buble vibe. I disagree. Buble (who I don't particularly care for) can actually sing a variety of notes with some color. And he butchered Queen. Granted it was a minor song, but still, at this level of competition, we shouldn't be butchering songs. I am sure there are people who went to the big auditions that could sing this song better. And better songs better. I think he should sing a late-career Elvis Presley song next week. That's what he reminded me of more than any Rat Packer. Do "Long Black Limousine" or "In the Ghetto." I have more suggestions, but this is too much space on someone who isn't any good.

Will Makar

Winner in the Peter Brady lookalike competition. I would not have been surprised if he went home after his goofy performance of the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back". My wife says he's a ringer for Fred Savage. I think this raises an interesting question. Looking at them when they were kids, you would almost certainly rather look like Fred Savage. Seeing how it's played out, I think you'd rather look like Christopher Knight (and bang Adrienne Curry too, that dog). But if you could pick, which way would you go? I think Savage is a bigger name and probably has more money, his show ran longer, he did some movies. Hell, his uncute ass was even in Austin Powers 3, the one that doesn't count. On his singing, he might be one of the best 24 from the 50,000 they started with, but I don't think he's one of the 12 best or even the 16 best. I have a deep fear that he's going to kick a Stevie Wonder song (Stevie and Buble are his idols, which is scary) and he's going to butcher it. I think Will is part of something that I think is very sad, that I will talk about a little further down, cute vs. talented.


Ayla Brown

I have never felt the commitment to singing from her. She should have renounced basketball at the audition. It's not like you have to quit it, but you have to say, "I'm going to focus on Idol while I'm on Idol, and my scholarship is Plan B." We cannot tolerate someone who is waffling about our vote. Plus, she's a boring singer. Why do people pick boring songs? This mystifies me. Be interesting. Plus, she's a Celine Dion fan. That can't be a good thing.

The "What Did They Sing Again?"
Heather Cox

I think they should keep her around longer than any of the other boring people, because I like it when Seacrest says Cox. Makes me laugh. I'm easy. Since I don't have a lot to say about Cox (Heh heh), lemme talk about Seacrest. Next year they should replace him with David Hoover. That crazy guy who jumped all over the place and introduced his Hollywood performance with the following gem, "People of the universe, honorable overlords, you are now in the presence of Mr. Dubious." I think this is a great idea. Would really test the contestants' poise and grace under weirdness. After an interview with this guy, sex with Paris Hilton would seem pretty every day.

Katharine McPhee

I'm looking at her contestant page. It says she sang "Since I Fell For You." I'm looking it up on allmusic.com, because I don't even recall what this song is like or who sings it. I think it might be country. Upon further review, it seems like it's an old standard, since everyone from Tom Jones to Dr. John has done a version. I cannot bring to my mind anything about her performance. I think that's not a good sign. Better to fail miserably than bore completely. Lotsa luck Kid.

Kellie Pickler

What is it with girls with names that are funny when Seacrest says them this year? Bumper crop. I think she sang some boring ass country song. I didn't watch last year, but I'm told that they went that way last year with Carrie Underwear. If there is one constant to the show, they go a different way each year. Hell, a big fat black guy with decent talent and great personality won this nonsense once. I think the Pickler will be a victim of some non-repetition clause in the Idol bylaws. That said, the wife says she's not as good as Underwire. So, maybe the bylaw won't come into play.

Melissa McGhee

I just read her bio, because I don't remember her performance. She's into Jesus, so she can leave sooner rather than later. As soon as she thanks God for putting her on Idol, I'm done watching. She even says in her bio that she's gonna thank God then the family. I would like the scoop on her very difficult life, but maybe they can do that on Thursday, so I can switch to MXC before she talks about God. Worse than that whole thing, her favorite artist is Kelly Clarkson. Passing strange.

Kevin Covais

Mystifying song choice. Brian McKnight. On Howdy Doody. Is anyone else reminded of Rick Astley? Except that Rick Astley could sing better than Brian McKnight. And Kevin Covais. I think he will go far in this contest based on three things:

1. He's not awful.
2. He's cute.
3. He's young and looks it.

I think it's kind of wrong that someone who doesn't have a ton of talent, but has the look (and I'm not talking the intangible IT, I'm just talking about pleasant looking) will go a lot further than someone with all the talent in the world, but who doesn't fit into an easy looks category. Let's see if this plays out. Will Makar vs. Taylor Hicks. Taylor is WAY more talented that Peter Brady, but he's a little out there. Kevin is kind of a middle ground. He's not as untalented as Makar, but he's not as good as Hicks. He's a good candidate to imitate the Idol career of that army guy who was getting shipped out to Iraq. Got very deep despite lower talent, but eventually the story wasn't enough. Idol is littered with people who were more talented than eventual winners, but didn't have the look or the story.

Some Dudes
Ace Young

That can't be his real name, can it? I don't think Ace is the best singer in the group. But I think he's probably the best looking guy they've had, even if my wife thinks he needs a haircut. I have a strategy for him. He seems to have figured it out with his first song, Father Figure. When you look as good as this guy, just keep singing about knocking boots and falling in love, and you will get a significant portion of the white female vote, and I really think that's what it's all about here. Will Ace Young win? I don't think so. But I wouldn't be surprised if he goes VERY deep and maybe other people fall.

Bucky Covington

From Rockingham. This guy might be the Anti-Ace. The ur-redneck. If Rock is Back (I think it is back in the Zeitgeist), he could go very far. He cannot, however, win. Simple reason. He's not as good as Chris Daughtry. Not close. The interesting thing is this. How deep can a decent rock singer go? I think it talks about where the zeitgeist is. But when he falls off, expect ALL of his votes to go to Chris. I think we should keep Covington around for a while. And if you're gonna go Skynyrd, there are better songs than "Simple Man" even if Coors doesn't agree. I think he should come back next week with something Southern and Toned Down... like the Allman's "Melissa." When it looks like he's going off, he should do Neil Young's "Southern Man".

Jose "Sway" Penala

Survived a less than stellar song choice, but really impressed the judges. I don't think people really appreciate what this guy did with his falsetto. That said, there is only so far that's gonna take you. If he comes out next week with Lenny Kravitz's "It Ain't Over Til It's Over", I think we will understand that Sway is a one trick pony, and there's only so long that lasts in a talented field. I don't know how good his regular voice is. Haven't heard a lot of it yet. Time will tell. Can't say if he will win or not, but my feeling is he won't.

The Best Girls in No Particular Order
Kinnik Sky

Is that her real name? Who cares. I thought she was pretty damn good singing a song I don't like. Very Oleta Adams singing Oleta Adams. I think she's got the talent to go a long way. I think she's lacking that something that will put her over the top. She's not young like Paris. She doesn't have the talent of Mandisa. And she's not quite as elegant as Lisa. I think that puts her going home earlier than she should, making room for one of the cute people who isn't that good. Since that's pretty much how it's going to play out, I think she should pick some fun songs and have a good time with it. Sing some sappy neo-country ballad. Sing some George Michael. Sing songs that weak people sang the week before. My wife was talking about this while we watched figure skating last night. If you know you can't win, why not just go nuts? My man David Hoover did that. And we'll probably remember him longer than the Kinnik Sky we've seen thus far. And I like this girl.

Mandisa

First off, I like anyone who decides they are done with their last name. But I think you either have to be amazing or have a weird name. Madonna is both. Nell Carter was amazing. I feel like Mandisa can be a tweener there. She can sing with Nell Carter and has a funny name like Madonna. I don't think she's gonna win, and I think that sucks. She's not gonna win because her ass is the size of a small couch. I don't think that should be, but it is what it is. And I think she's having a good time while she's there. She sang a great version of Heart's "Never." Caught everyone's attention and she knocked it out of the park. She's got my female vote. Who knows, maybe it could work out.

Lisa TuckerFrom the OC no less. I remember she sang beautifully. I don't recall any specifics. But she's got a great voice. She's elegant and pretty. She's super young and in our culture that doesn't hurt. I don't think she'll win, either, but she should go very deep in the show. She doesn't win because her constituency is probably locked up with Paris, who is the better of the two.

Paris Bennett

Whatever IT is, she's got IT. She's the second best female singer in the group (behind Mandisa) and she's fresh and young and has a fun personality. Since we live vicariously through our Idol, that young, fresh and fun factor is important. And she knocked out "Midnight Train to Georgia". I think she can sing pretty much anything well, so she should have fun with the competition, and pick outside of her usual genre. Follow Mandisa into the world of Rock. It's back and a black girl who can sing it can probably make a bunch of money.

The Best Dudes in No Particular Order
Taylor Hicks
I like this guy a lot. He is the odd's on favorite to be revealed as being too old for the competition. I didn't love his Levon, but it was good enough for the early rounds. This guy has something. It's called a real personality. Not a cookie cutter one. I'm rooting for him to stay around for a long time. If you look at his bio, I LOVE every one of his favorite artists. I'm hoping he pulls a "Jackie Wilson Said" at some point in the competition. Would make my season. Or "Rock and Roll Never Forgets". Or "Night Moves". Or "She Bop." Or "The Stranger." Hell, if he put out an album of Bob Seger's Greatest Hits, I'd probably buy it. One last thing to love here. I get the vibe that he'd be doing the same thing even if there weren't any money in it. There are some other people I think that about in the competition, but it's a different thing to say that when you are 29 than when you are 17.

Gedeon McKinney

Big teeth, big smile, very nice voice. He went to the Isley Brothers on the first show, with a great performance that I felt Simon was a little hard on. I think I get where Simon was coming from, but I don't think he's right. I think Simon is kind of very stuck in what's modern. Let's call it the ESPN era. But I think Gedeon can sing in that era, and I think we will see it coming up. Deep down, I think people do some sorting and do some weird songs early on the belief that they are better than enough people, so they won't go. I think some people maybe miscalculate. But Ged is probably honest about what he's doing. His favorites are Tina and Luther. I think if he winds up in the bottom two or three for a couple of weeks, he should do "Land of a Thousand Dances" and bring the joint down. Simon will be miserable, but big deal. And I'm willing to forgive him God, because he's a good singer with a memorable style. Like I forgive Moby and Prince. But not Toby Keith.

Elliot Yamin


Has there ever been a better voice in a worse haircut? Two bits dude, for the shave and the hair cut. This guy is an incredible singer, though. So, when they weed them down enough to give them makeovers, I think this guy gets the biggest boost. Right now, he looks vaguely Neanderthal. Shave for next week. Just down to a goatee. The sideburns and beard are BAD. Very bad.

Chris Daughtry

Speaking of people who need a shave... He has needed a different shave at every stage of the contest. It's getting there. I think he should just rock the goatee, with no soul patch (dude, you're white. It looks as weird as a white guy in a fuscia suit with matching shoes, hat and cane) and no side burns of any kind. He's got a nice face, he should show it out there. On top of all that, he's the best rock singer in the competition, by a lot (unless you count Mandisa as a rock singer). He made Bon Jovi rock (it's a good song, but it rocked more with Chris than with Jon). I think this guy makes final two. I think it's a make up call for last year, when Bo Bice apparently should have won. I think the zeitgeist has moved to be more rock friendly than it was last year, so he should do better, just on the "What People Want to Hear" scale. He could even win this thing. I wouldn't be pissed off by that.

That's everbody. It's a very long post. Amazing.