Idolatry - Mea Culpa - Lisa Goes Home

I'm sorry my loyal readers. I love my wife more than I love you. My wife took a couple of days off from work at her old job this week and I spent the time with her rather than spending it with you. I feel a little bad about it, but I'm over it and you should be too. Any rate, all that promised content (Idol Elimination, Next Top Model, Unan1mous) is coming, coming. Starting with this, Lisa goes home.

The show kicked off with a performance by Shakira and Wyclef Jean. The wizards of Idol sound mixing failed to mix Wyclef properly until about halfway through the show. You couldn't hear him at all. If they can't get international recording star Wyclef to sound right, it makes my case for Bucky and Ace seem a little more plausible, right?

We go to commercial and come back with one of those goofy ass Ford commercials that star everyone who's left. I know Ford helps pay for this nonsense, just as Coke does, but this is really over the top, in my opinion. Not only do we have our cute little munchkins shilling for Ford, but we also get to mangle the classics, teasing them into multipart disharmonies. ENOUGH. Stop beating up the songs I love. I am so glad we are going country next week, because it will be the first week that no one butchers a song I like. Probably.

We weed out the top vote getters, first by giving amnesty to the bottom row. If I recall, that was Chris, Paris, Mandisa, Taylor and Bumkin. Then we go to commercial. At this point, I'm pulling out the "milk it milk it milk it" gesture with both hands. We come back and pardon Elliot (the wife was sweating that one). We pull Lisa and Ace out with low votes and we are left with Bucky (that ne'er-do-well) and McPhee (of the Kelly Clarkson comparisons). If you're not thinking Bucky scored lower, you haven't been watching. Hell, when they announced that McPhee was in the bottom three, even Bucky looked shocked. Not relieved, shocked.

So, McPhee was in the bottom three. Maybe America is just sick of boring white chicks. When they grow a personality or some flavor, we'll get into it. Maybe even Kelly Clarkson, she whose ass shoots refined silk, wouldn't win this thing this year. We tease them out and talk to the judges about their thoughts on the bottom three, particularly McPhee. If you thought that McPhee had any chance of going home this week, you weren't picking on the clues. Just to play with you a little more, they send Ace back to his seat. So, it's Lisa and McPhee, and the worst of the boring white chicks (token or not) gets to go home. And Lisa lost it.

We could look at the why of it. We could talk about electoral science and constituencies, and how she runs very deep in a competition without Paris or a McPhee-less competition. I dunno how interesting that conversation is. I think it's part of the why. The rest of the why is that she peaked too early. Back in week three, Simon cheered about the Lisa that people will remember. It's been a slog downhill from there. Forgettable performances that were good but not super. Goofy dressing decisions. Just bad choices. And I suppose I could bring up that run I do about the difference between the over 20's and the under 20's. How it's all overwhelming for the kids, with a lot of advice and not a great idea of who they are.

The biggest loser in Lisa going home is also the biggest winner: Paris. Paris probably gets about half of Lisa's voters (with McPhee getting the other half). Let's look at the ages of the remaining contestants:

1. Paris - 16
2. Bumkin - 19
3. McPhee - 21
4. Ace - 25
5. Chris - 26
6. Elliot - 27
7. Bucky - 28
8. Mandisa - 29
9. Taylor - 29

I don't get that Bumkin and Paris are pals. Could be isolating a little. For a young girl. Over the last three weeks, all losers have been 21 & under. Go back a little further and you can put Will Makar, Radford and Ayla Squinty Brown back in the mix. The show gets older every week. As do the hotel suites or wherever they are putting them up. Will be interesting to see if it takes a toll on Paris. If she goes, look for Mandisa to take most of those votes.

Next week, country music. Biggest winner: Bumkin. Biggest loser: McPhee.