Idolatry - These Foolish Things - April 18

I love the Great American Song Book. Not necessarily Rod Stewart's version, but Hell, if he wants to make a buck, who am I to get in the way, especially for the guy who does the best version of "Reason to Believe," even if he didn't write it or perform it first. But really, I love Ella and Louis, Frank, Dean, Sammy, George Clooney's Aunt, and all those folks. Real singers with real styles. You listen to the songs and you feel the magic. You listen to them work together and you can hardly hear them for the screaming, but when you can you get it. I have Frank singing "Mandalay Bay" with Ella. Beautiful. Frank with Elvis trading verses of "Witchcraft" and "Love Me Tender". And of course, all the Ella and Louis songs. And Astrid Gilberto. And Blossom Dearie. And that whole scene, even down to the more obscure reaches. So, onto Idol with trepidation again, waiting for the classics to be butchered.

The nihilist in me was disappointed. Only one person stood out as being bad (regular readers will know my pick here... Let's just say I dropped more than half of this contestant's last name in the last sentence.). A couple others were a little boring, but on the whole, it was pretty good. I think it's probably a good thing Bucky went home last week. I'm sure he would have found something in the catalog, and pulled it off better than we all would have thought he could, but at some point you have to be quality, not such better than low expectations. I'm looking at Ace while I write this.

Chris sang What a Wonderful World. I liked it, and felt that his critics can shut up about him being a one trick pony. This was something I felt he had all along. That said, I wonder a little at the song choice. This was a signature song for one of the signature artists of the 20th century. Hell, he's the man that was so important to 20th Century music that they used to say he was born on July 4th, 1900. Very distinctive and used in a bazillion commercials and movies and shows, and almost always ironically now. If you haven't seen "Bowling for Columbine" or more specifically, the Wonderful World segment of that movie, you've missed one of the most effective uses of music and irony in film ever. Just thinking back on the passage gives me chills now. And it was so skillfully done that I can't hear the song without thinking about the Twin Towers and September 11th. Maybe that's just crazy liberal/socialist me talking and other people don't feel the same, but I can't believe that no one said anything to him about it. Hard to earn my vote while I'm thinking about Bin Laden, Saddam and Pinochet. At any rate, Chris is the only contestant left who has never been to the bottom three. I think the streak probably stays alive, despite first slot.

Paris did These Foolish Things. While she was technically on, I have some quibbles. First among them is that I just don't feel that she understands what she's singing about. Let's be honest, love at 23 (when Nat King Cole first performed the song) and 17 (where Paris is right now). There's also a difference between the love that rich people have and the love that the rest of us have. Not in the feelings, but in the experiences. The airline tickets to romantic places and the cigarettes with lipstick traces. They just don't ring true when Paris sings them. For a girl who changes her appearance every week to match the songs, I'm just not feeling the reality of the performances. And I guess that brings up my second quibble. I would like Paris to look like the same girl from one week to the next. I want to get a feeling for who she really is. Because right now, all I know is that she talks like Minnie Mouse (Simon's), sings really well, and can do her hair in a thousand ways. And I guess that's not really enough. All that said, Paris sang the song perfectly (ignoring the surreality of the lyrics coming from her), and this is probably her milieu. I dunno how many albums of new great old songs the American marketplace is willing to have, but then again, Michael Buble has a career, or at least 15 minutes of one.

Taylor did You Send Me. I predict that people will be all over his case for singing Sam Cooke. I predict that most of the people who do this will be unable to name three Sam Cooke songs without using allmusic.com, despite the fact that this was the second Sam Cooke song this year on Idol. The other one was Gedeon's version of Change Gonna Come. And they will fill their outrage with reverence for Cooke, who's work they are generally unfamiliar with. How Dare Taylor dip this catalog. No one is Sam Cooke. All that kind of garbage. I like Sam Cooke. I own two Cooke albums. And I'm not offended. The artists that people get their dander up about are ridiculous (even mine). But the Idol blogosphere complained about Kelly Clarkson and now Sam Cooke. I dunno the link, but that's some weird stuff. Taylor was pretty good. To pirate some Randy Jackson, It was a good song for him for me for him. And I guarantee you that Taylor can name three Sam Cooke songs without consulting the Internet. So I'm cool with this. All that said, I think we are nearing the day when he should sing Yah Mo B There. Getting closer and I wouldn't be surprised to see Taylor in the bottom three. Actually, saying that, the only person I would be surprised to see in the bottom three is Chris, and even that wouldn't surprise me that much, since he went first and I think that's a high hurdle to overcome. I realize that's not really actionable intelligence, that all seven could be in the bottom three, but Hell, it's a tough game. I will try to give you something to work with. I have a Stone Cold Lock To Leave and a Second Lock to be in the bottom three. So, you'll have to deal with that.

Elliot did It Had to Be You. Boring song sung well. The guy can flat out sing pretty much anything and he looks better every week. And he plays well to the camera, if not the live audience. I think that's the difference between my feelings and Simon's feelings about Elliot. Too much play to the camera for the live audience. But really, with LA traffic, and the split of voters between the live audience and the home audience, I think he's making the right choice. There are a lot more of us who can't trek down to the Kodak theater. So, I think he's fine. Still, it wasn't exceptional, so I wouldn't be surprised at the bottom three, but I don't think we're gonna see that.

Bumkin sucked it up with Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered. I was more bothered than bewitched as the Pickler was bewildered. But I don't think that's anything new. She would have us believe (and I buy it) that she goes through life Bewildered. At everything. What's calamari? What's falsetto? What's a brick? What's a minx? Who am I? And how did I get here? Bewildered. Simon stole my line here. I came up with it when she announced her song choice in her Rod Stewart video. And aside from being dumb, she was lousy. She lost the song about halfway through and she really just doesn't have the chops of the other contestants. Pretty much everyone else is able to bring it for something outside their genre. Not Bumkin. Everytime she is forced out of Country, she sucks. Badly. And yet, she is not the pick to go home. I may fervently wish for it, and I may even be rewarded. But I just don't feel it. That said, she is the Second Lock for the bottom three. I would be very surprised if she wasn't in the bottom three. Afterall, she sucked and has sucked for a number of weeks. Cute only gets you so far.

Ace came out with a ponytail. And a suit. And That's All. And he sounded pretty good. But I think it's time. The stars are aligned. He or Bucky have been in the bottom three since before the top 12. That's six shows now. Just as it was time for Bucky to stop hanging around last week, that time has come for Ace. Actually, it was Ace's turn last week, but something happened and maybe the public voted with a view toward the future (not wanting to hear Bucky sing the American Songbook). Any rate, Ace is your STONE COLD LOCK for the bottom three, and your Idol most likely to be eliminated.

McPhee sang Someone To Watch Over Me. Odd thing. No one is going to get their dander up about McPhee singing Ella Fitz, the first lady of song. But Taylor doing Sam Cooke gets people mad. Go figure. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm trying to say that Ella is maybe the most beloved of the great singers, and certainly the best of them. Sam Cooke, while great, is a minor artist (not as minor as Kelly Clarkson, but still minor). Aside from a minor lyrical glitch (She sang "Someone who watch over me," instead of :Someone who'll watch over me" in her first chorus), she was technically fine. Boring but technically fine. I think that's her bread and butter. Boring but fine. If she wins, I think that's a comment on the other candidates more than a comment on her. They must not have the fire and the talent if she can win. But then again, Clarkson won. Last thing about McPhee. This was the first week in a month where she didn't look like an extra on Star Trek, wardrobe wise. But she's singing this sultry song in a boring pant suit. Paris needs to talk to her about dressing up. Not that Paris's bright pink suit was so great, but she would have worn a cocktail dress for this song, especially if she looked like McPhee. Someone talk to her.

Recap:
Your bottom two are Kellie and Ace. Bank it. Anyone else could be in the bottom three. Probably gonna be Taylor or Paris. Could be Elliot or Kat. Might even be Chris.