Idolatry - In the Year of Our Lord 19XX - May 2

Sorry I'm so slow about writing this. I didn't have time to get to it on Wednesday because I was working hard core, doing the groundwork for a big meet-down that night. Any rate, better late than never, at least I hope so.

First up, it was a kind of random theme this week, as we let folks pick from the year of their birth and from the current charts (whatever chart they want to pick from). So, I prepared to hear some old favorites filleted and some songs I never heard before. With one exception, I was pleasantly surprised. My favorites weren't butchered (save one) and one was, in my opinion, better than the original (more on that later). The new songs were pretty good, even that one recroded before the year of my birth. In fact, someone I generally crucify in this space was probably my favorite.

As usual, Randy could have been replaced by a robot. Simon got cut off by the audience, Paula and the Randy Robot. Oddly, Paula was maybe the most useful judge. I guess she's a reader, because lately she's really stepped it up and been useful. I'm not saying she gave constructive criticism (for some reason, the show just isn't about that), but she was useful to me to understand what was going on. And that's really what the judges should do after the Hollywood round, since they really don't have any control of who continues and who leaves. I'm not one of the people who believes it's all rigged (I think it's clearly not, else Tamyra wins year one, Frenchie wins year two, and Bo wins last year), so I think the best they can do is really give us some insight into the performance, draw our attention to the good and bad and hope for the best. I think that's why I'm usually a Simon guy, but the last few weeks, Paula has been the most useful. I dunno that that makes up for four and a half years of useless cheerleading, but it's something to note.

I've made the decision to talk about the singers rather than the songs, so just one round of commentary that will cover both songs.

Yamin kicked off the show with a personal favorite, On Broadway. This song was, in a live version, on my first Christmas Mix CD. So, I'm a big fan. And Yamin's version started a little off. But, to quote the Robot, he found his thing and made it work for him. And for me for him. His second song sounded a little more than a little bit country and had a lyric that sounded a little whiney, though it sounded good coming out of Yamin. I suspect songs from the Fear of a Black Hat soundtrack would sound good coming out of him. I'm specifically thinking of tracks 2, 5, 6, & 7 here. Overall, a decent night from the guy who is probably the best singer (not the best Idol or highest upside pop star) in the competition. That said, I felt he probably finished third or fourth on the night. No chance of going home, but the time draws nigh.

Paris sang a song from the catalog of my music idols, Prince. Pre-symbol Prince (not that I'm not a fan of The Artist who Formerly Knew What White America Wanted to Listen To because I am and not because I don't understand why he did it, unlike most of America, I do, just because that's the classic period, and the output since Symbol-time has been markedly better than the late years of the Symbol period). It just doesn't get better than that. A song so good, another Idol of mine, Tom Jones, covered it. Paris rocked it and made it her own. Some of that had to do with changing the lyric ("You don't have to be rich to be my boy/you don't have to be cool to rule my world" someone explain that rhyme to me) to something weird, but she really did work it. As I was watching it, I felt that most of White America wouldn't get it, and felt sorry a little for Paris. The she tops it off with a really great version of a Mary J. Blige song. Which must have confused the Hell out of White America. I mean, White America (I live among them in St. Louis) has no idea about Prince and Stevie Wonder. I, someone generally hip to urban music, knows who Mary J. Blige is, knows she's sold like a billion records to black people but could only name ONE MJB song off the top of my head, and I'm not entirely sure it's really her song (I just looked it up, I'm Going Down is MJB). So, what're the people who were mystified by Stevie Wonder night going to make of this. If we want to pick a reason why Paris went home, it's that she likes music that the honkeys of West County, Saint Louis just can't/won't like/know. And I think that's ultimately why she went home. Everyone knows she can sing. I suspect she will have a long career on the R&B chart and maybe even cross over to the mainstream, but she's not going to be your Idol. Part of me thinks it's sad, but that part of me also thinks the obsession that I indulge by watching it and commenting on it week after week is also sad. The realist in me says this is maybe a good lesson.

Chris started with Styx's Renegade. I love Butt-Rock. If you don't love butt-rock, you probably don't have a soul. And it's back. Big time. That's what Skynyrd on Idol last year was about, what Queen on Idol this year is about. It's in the consciousness. It's what the fame of The Darkness is about too. Styx isn't my favorite (that's either Skynyrd or Foreigner), but this is a good song from the period and Chris cranked it. If the guys of one of these bands are out there, looking for a lead singer, this guy can fill your arena. Rock Star: Journey, look out. His cover of this song was, in my opinion, better than the original. And it made me feel pretty smart that I picked him to win it all after his first audition. His second song was a rocking thing called I Dare You. Typical Chris fare only his voice seemed to give out a little. He says he's been under some strain and it's hard to sing. I don't doubt it and if/when he wins, I think the first move is to get him some lessons on how to sing in this style without wrecking your health. That's mandatory if you're going to get the full lifetime value out of it. Any rate, I think he won the night on the average between the two songs and he was the top vote getter, right?

McPhee killed Phil Collins' Against All Odds. And I don't think this could be a hard song to sing. Nobody is going to EVER confuse Phil Collins for a singer's singer. Hell, he was the backup plan for Genesis when Peter Gabriel left (now that's a singer's singer). Granted, he can blow a little, but it's not like anyone would suspect that he would win Idol on talent (and winning on looks was never an option there, either). So, when a supposedly great singer blows a Phil Collins song, you know something is wrong. On the upside, it wasn't boring Kat. On the downside, I can usually get a nice nap through her stuff, on account of it being so boring. In fact, I missed the panty show last week.

Her second song was my favorite performance of hers ever. Musically, the song was completely different from anything she had done before. Lot of intersting percussion and not a lot of other stuff going on. You could really hear her sing and you could see her doing something other than the usual boring ballad junk. The outfits are getting better, but that's only because we started off so bad. If she had done her usual thing in this slot, instead of this interesting song, I would have had her in the bottom two and maybe even going home. But this really saved it for me and made me like her a little. Not enough to win, because she's still boring 99% of the time and what she wears is still almost always more interesting than anything else with her. Maybe with Elvis week she can change that up.

Taylor Hicks. If you just listen to him, he is the weakest Idol and probably should have been voted off a few weeks ago. Based solely on singing talent, he's really not any better or worse than Bucky or Ace. But, if you're talking about just listening, you're missing a lot of the show. It's about attitude. And I can't take my eyes off him when he's moving around and growling his lyrics. Play that Funky Music was just that. Spectacle: 9, Sing: 7. I don't have a problem with that, because ultimately, it is not, as Simon contends, a singing contest. It is a pop idol contest. And just cause you can sing, doesn't mean you can go through an audience, find the one guy that's not getting off, and get that person off. I think it's an interesting contrast between Yamin and Hicks. Or even McPhee and Hicks. Hicks gets me off. The others are better singers but they just don't move me. This is why Chris wins in the end, and why I picked him from the get go. He was the one gets it, the total package. He's not the spectacle that Taylor is, but he's got enough of it and he's a much better singer.

Taylor then sang Something by the Beatles. I guess there's some ret-con explanation about how a song that's older than I am is on a Billboard chart this week (I think it's in a box set that's recently released). Very tender and very nice. Just when I write off his singing, he goes and does this. I suppose there is a plan where Taylor can win the whole thing, by sticking to great classic songs that play to the smokiness in his voice. Incorporate a little daftness, keep the Soul Patrol junk going and you might just beat out Chris in the final. I don't think so, but one never knows.

I guess that's all of them. It was sad to see Paris go. Girl is too good for this and is a better singer than at least two remaining contestants. But it's not about that, right. On the upside, our Idol will be legal to drink, which is important, imho. Till next week.